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"...The sad truth is you would rather follow the school into the net, cause swimming alone at sea is not the kind of
freedom you actually want..." -Excerpt from "Regaining Unconsciousness," written by Fat Mike
of NOFX.
Want to get in touch? Better yet, do you want to touch me? Either way, you can send me an e-mail at:
cornflake_of_the_sea@mail.com
CALL TO ACTION, SOLDIER!
Do you have something that makes you cry in horrid pain? Does it makes you cream your pants in excitement? Well, now is
your chance to post on the web! Just send me your article to my e-mail address (posted above, for those of you who don't
pay attention). I only have a few pre-requisites about the content of your article, and they are...
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1) Make it good. I won't post something if it looks like you typed it on AOL and said, "hay thatz cul!ill submit it
too dat cornflake dood!lol!!!!!!1" You get the picture. NO CRAP!
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2) It can not be entirely factual or objective. Up the opine dosage a couple milligrams. After all, this a "celebration
of individual opinion and free press," so stretch that unkempt muscle you call a brain and get cracking!
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3) It can't be too long. I won't give you a limit on how long it should be, just use your better judgement (which you should
have, unless you were drop-kicked in the head as a baby by Chuck Norris. In that case, don't bother). Don't send me something
that's fifty pages long. In such a case, call Random House and I'm sure they'll be more than happy to print your lame-ass
novel.
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4) Give me some information on yourself. No, I'm not going to stalk you like some kind of sick pedophile, I just want to
ensure you get the proper credits for your hard work. It should go something like this:
a)Title of the article
b)Author (anonymous is acceptable)
c)Type (short story, news article, poem, hell, maybe even a song!)
d)Date made (optional)
e)Subject of article
Once again, you get the picture.
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